Watch the YouTube Video Here.
I have been asked dozens of times how I processed the grief of losing a child at 10 weeks, and I honestly have no good answer. I suppose at the root of it, my trust in God's timing, the four beautiful children before me, and my deeply seated belief that this world is not our home, have helped soften the blow and help me move on knowing that the sweet soul we will not meet here on earth is safe from the pain, fear, sin and death we know here in this vapor of a world.
But even armed with this knowledge, I knew that mini "postpartum" hormones flooded my body, and I faced a very real physical battle of stabilizing my emotions, my heart and my mind.
As soon as the bleeding stopped, I started waking up at 5:30am. Still tired. Still unwilling.
From experience I knew that sleep was less important than guaranteed quiet for rest, healing, and growth.
The present is all we have. And staying grounded in the present brings me the most joy, and the most fulfillment.
Grief of the past is real, but I didn't want to wallow, and I also didn't want to focus on a future that was void of the child I hoped would be there.
Feeding my soul with God's Word. Prayer for the children he has loaned me to steward and love and protect. Reading rich literature with a strong focus on what truly matters. Staying offline.
Feeding my body with endorphins. Supplements. Aminos. Protein. Working out for mental clarity and feeling strong after months of nausea and apathy.
Feeding my family. The beautiful people that are with me today. Not treating meals as an afterthought, but rather a gift I get to prepare to nourish and bless.
Little tidbits of hard and sweet mixed together. Hydration, skincare, freezing cold water, French, a vanilla candle, praising God for His new mercies.
In just four weeks, my morning routine has given me more vision and purpose than I have felt for months.
Although I never knew this child, it's short presence and return, has humbled me, drawn me toward my Great Creator, and brought me such peace in reminding me what truly matters.
I pray wherever you are and whatever you are going through, there are little joys and gifts that you can focus on and delight in, in your Present.
P.S. Our Miscarriage Story
Links mentioned in the Video:
Target Back Pack
Scripture Based Prayers for your Children
Homeschool Course: (Use the code BLOG50 for $50 off)
1000 hours Outside Printable
Daily Skin Serums
Daily Skin Care
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